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Jul 06, 2020

Emerging From The Darkness Of Doubt

All fear is borne from the stories that we play in our heads, but with desire, support, determination and the strategies in place – ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Hi! I’m back! Did you miss me?

I want to share a story with you that explains where I’ve been for the last few months…

A story of feeling stuck, full of doubt, fear and negative – self talk and then taking action on what might feel like a massive LEAP !!  Feeling stuck?
Let me know what your biggest challenge is (plus download a free gift for your feedback)

So let me share with you the story shall I

In March 2016, I made the decision to go to the top of Spain in September and walk part of the El Camino (The Way), all 150Kms of it!

When I heard my friend going, I was like OK I’M IN, THIS IS HAPPENING.

In May 2016, I travelled to Europe and worked in Italy having a blast, so I didn’t really think too much about the BIG WALK happening in September.

In June 2016, I arrived in the UK and my mind went straight to THINKING, thinking about what I needed, what could go wrong, and so I started writing lists for everything, what I needed to buy, medications and a lists about what could go WRONG!

There was still MASSIVE EXCITEMENT but negative self talk about what could go wrong kept getting in the way, but still I MARCHED ON, literally. I started to arrange walks, long walks, walks up mountains, walks with friends and walks on my own.

And then I realised something

I realised that I needed to do part of the El Camino by myself because I was aware of the self doubt and sabotaging negative self talk that kept on creeping up! And I wanted to confront those fears head on so I knew I had to do it, and it FELT RIGHT.

So I began to talk about it with others and of course those fears I had, were reflected right back to me. Yeah, I know you know what I mean. It happens. But I didn’t let it STOP ME.

Feeling stuck too? 

You can’t do that!

What if something happens?

What if you don’t meet other people?

What if you get lost (this is a BIG ONE, I have ABSOLUTELY no sense of direction!!)?

You can’t speak to language!

What if you can’t communicate with people?

You’ll be lonely!

Rather than listen to what was being said to me, I took it one step at a time, I committed to the ACTION, knew the ones who supported me and just did it, booked the flights, HERE I GO!

[ ENTER REALLY ANNOYING HORN SOUND, WAHHHHH]

The day came when I arrived in Spain

It sounds crazy writing this but I remember sitting there in utter and complete FEAR. I packed and repacked my bags and checked and rechecked my travel arrangements and then booked the coach ticket from Santiago for a 5 hour long journey to start my walk!

Once in the hotel room, again I wallowed. All that negative self talk I had just spent all that energy to conquer it, came back. Note to self: ONE STEP, IN FRONT OF THE OTHER..

I had everything in place, I had everything that I needed, I was prepared, I knew what to do and how to do it. And then I remembered how to walk again, bahaha!!

The morning soon arrived, and it was PITCH BLACK, literally. I could have let the fear creep in that one last time but nope, I didn’t. And just as I figured out how to do it before. I did it again, one foot in front of the other. I took ACTION.

So I opened the front door with my backpack (11.5kgs!!) on my back!

And after all the PROCRASTINATION, FEAR, DOUBT, AND NEGATIVE SELF TALK, I kept on going. One foot in front of the other.

It may have been 1 small step for mankind, but it sure did feel like 1 GIANT LEAP for lil’ ol’ me!

It felt like I had just closed one chapter and started a new one

Wait for it … SPOILER ALERT!!

I made it. And I am here to tell you, whatever might feel like a giant leap for you, you can DO IT TOO! And I am here to show you how. You’ve got this!

If you’re feeling stuck today, I would love to know what your unique flavour of stuck is?

Trudy

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